What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
