is your mom at the bar?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
