Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize