i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
