College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
