I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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