So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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