The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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