i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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