you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
