I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we're making bets on your personal life
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Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
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My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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