I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize