Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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