Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
