508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
