and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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