2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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