i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
