I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Randomize
