Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
