the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
