How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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