Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize