I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
