I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
