I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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