how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
so let's talk penis.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
