Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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