I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
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