So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
How does one acquire holy water?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
