I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
