he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
