I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
