making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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