All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
