my mouth tastes like poor choices
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize