Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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