I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Randomize
