I'm so fucking centered right now
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Randomize
