I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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