What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
