nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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