nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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