you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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