One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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