He is an equal opportunity slut.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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