I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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