I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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