Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
