He kissed a someone with a penis
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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