p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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