Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
