I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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