please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize