She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Sober January is a disaster.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
