Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
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And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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