Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize