we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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