He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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