I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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